Top 16 Bands You Don't Know That You Should

16. Regina Spektor

Check Out: Her radio friendly infectious single “Fidelity”

For Fans Of: Piano pop and bands like Ben Folds

15. M. Ward

Check Out: His folk-laden LP Post-War

For Fans Of: Bright Eyes; She & Him; My Morning Jacket

14. We Are the Physics

Check Out: Their abrasive album We Are the Physics are OK at Music

For Fans Of: The Blood Brothers; The Matches; The Faint

13. Simon Joyner

Check Out: His “best of” album Beautiful Losers

For Fans Of: Tranquil folk music; Bob Dylan, Calexico, Iron and Wine, Bright Eyes

12. Dogs Die in Hot Cars

Check Out: The unexpectedly addictive “Lounger,” on their full length Please Describe Yourself

For Fans Of: pop-rock with catchy melodies and solid lyrics

11. The Wombats

Check Out: Their debut full length A Guide to Love, Loss, and Desperation

For Fans Of: CSS; Dogs Die in Hot Cars; dancey pop-rock

10. Ozma

Check Out: The seminal, pivotal History of Rock and Roll, Part 3

For Fans Of: Weezer; nerd rock

9. Rediscover

Check Out: “Baby Got Her Gun Out” from their EP Call Me When You Get This

For Fans Of: trendy, super danceable synth rock

8. Kiss Kiss

Check Out: Their debut album Reality vs. The Optomist

For Fans Of: Cursive; Murder by Death; cross-genre art rock with violins

7. Tokyo Police Club

Check Out: Their debut mini-LP, the seven song A Lesson in Crime

For Fans Of: Canadian indie rock; Los Campesinos!; Saddle Creek Records

6. Tally Hall

Check Out: The bonus track version of Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum

For Fans Of: They Might Be Giants, catchy rock

5. Cold War Kids

Check Out: The infectious jam “Saint John” on their debut Robbers and Cowards

For Fans Of: rhythmic piano; unique drum beats; get stuck in your head melodies

4. Fourth of July

Check Out: On The Plains, available on Range Life Records

For Fans Of: Bright Eyes, The Violent Femmes

3. Capgun Coup

Check Out: Brought to You by Nebraskafish, availble for free at http://library.team-love.com

For Fans Of: The Violent Femmes, Bright Eyes, folk-punk

2. Los Campesinos!

Check Out: Their newest record, We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed

For Fans Of: uber-danceable punk rock; Welsh accents; subtle violins; brilliant lyrics;

1. Tilly and the Wall

Check Out: Their debut on Team Love Records, Wild Like Children

For Fans Of: Saddle Creek Records; clapping; good times; tap dancing; hula parties

Top 15 Albums of the 1990s

15. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Smashing Pumpkins

14. Follow the Leader, KoRn

13. Recovering the Satellites, Counting Crows

12. Mellow Gold, Beck

11. Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morissette

10. Ten, Pearl Jam

9. (What's The Story) Morning Glory, Oasis

8. Yourself or Someone Like You, Matchbox 20

7. Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Red Hot Chili Peppers

6. Sublime, Sublime

5. Tragic Kingdom, No Doubt

4. Dookie, Green Day

3. Flood, They Might Be Giants

2. Pinkerton, Weezer

1. Nevermind, Nirvana

Top 10 Unfilmable Novels

Shank, the only reason I graduated college, always said The Great Gatsy couldn't be filmed and capture the greatness. I agree. It's #1. Check out what's on the rest of the list. These are books (or works of literature) that can't be filmed well, even though some of these already have movies based on them. Those movies are probably awful (See numbers 9, 7, and 1, especially).

10. Rant, Chuck Palahniuk
9. The Metamorphasis, Franz Kafka
8. The Bible, God (or Various Authors, depending on your beliefs)
7. Don Quixote, Miguel de Cervantes
6. The Death of Superman, Various Authors
5. Gravity’s Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon
4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
3. Ulysses, James Joyce
2. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
1. The Great Gatsy, F. Scott Fitzgerald

Top 10 Bands That Proved Punk Is Dead

Yes, I listen to a lot of "pop punk". But let's be real. Some of them are really good. Others, not really. These? FUCKING AWFUL. And to be totally honest, my heart cries when I hear a lot of these. I don't have the time to expand on it now, but I will, because some of these are not total crapshoots and deserve some explanations.

Enjoy.

10. Good Charlotte
9. Yellowcard
8. Panic! at the Disco
7. The Donnas
6. Bowling for Soup
5. Hawthorne Heights
4. Simple Plan
3. Fall Out Boy
2. Paramore
1. Avril Lavigne

Top 10 Hip Hop Songs After 2000 That Proved Rap Is Dead

Big ups to Allen Cox, he challenged me to this list. And I delivered. Suck on that, friends!

10. Back Then, Mike Jones
2005 really was a more innocent time. A time when some meathead dumbass could release an album with his name in the title (Who is Mike Jones?) and slap together a couple of verses and attach it to an overly self-indulgent chorus, and we, as American rap consumers,

9. My Humps, Black Eyed Peas
Sweet lordy, I hate the Black Eyed Peas. One of my biggest musical pet peaves is groups that survived based on having a hot woman in them. (I’m looking at you, No Doubt post Tragic Kingdom). Fergie is that essential piece to the Black Eyed Peas that took them from generic suck rap group to famous suck rap group. Oh yeah, this song sounds like it was a rough draft by one of my 7th grade students. For example:

What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside that trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump. What you gon' do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans? I'm a make, make, make, make you scream Make you scream, make you scream.

I mean, come on. And that was on the radio for damn near forever!

8. Right Thurr, Chingy
This set us all down a slippery slope, and hits all of the checklist. Butchering of syllables? Check. Simple rhymes based on genetalia and the stackedness of women? Check. Random changes of subject matter due to lack of rhyming words or words that can’t be altered? Check. Evan dying inside every time he hears it? Check-fucking-plus.

7. Crank That, Soulja Boy Tell Em
This is another song that appeals to the new trend of a small, minimal beat stuck on repeat. There really isn’t any difference between the verses and the choruses, and it’s hard to tell where one starts and the other ends or begins or who the Hell even knows. A lot of this song’s popularity is related to the fact that it has an equally retarded dance going along with it. Sort of like The Hustle, except even more annoying somewhere. I doubt the next generation will be cranking that soulja boy at roller rinks, though.

6. Lollipop, Lil Wayne
Oh, how I hate Lil Wayne. Actually, that’s not totally true. He’s great on Around the Horn and in ESPN The Magazine. And his tattoos on his face crack me up. I mean, how gangster does he think he is? Well, he’s gonna sing this one, with loads of vocoder (see T. Pain for more detail). Some of it reads like he’s trying to see how much he can get away with and still sell a gagillion records.

5. Laffy Taffy, D4L
This was the song that proved to me that you can take any word in the English language, slur it, put it over a fake 8-bit beat, and vaguely that it means the rear end of women, and BAM! summer time hit that every idiot in America will repeat endlessly.

4. London Bridges, Fergie
Fergie’s second appearance on this list. I’m not sure who told her she can rap. Probably dudes that wanted to plow her. She can’t rap. But with the Black Eyed Peas, when she was on stage with a dude who looked like a horse, you let it slide, cause she’s good looking (Remember, she has humps). However, throw her up on a track alone, and the verbal diarrhea combined with awful rhymes and a bland beat she jacked from Gwen Stefani’s house, and here we are.

3. American Life, Madonna
Madonna. Rapping. And yes, she was serious. Enough said.

2. Buy You A Drank, T. Pain
When we’re being totally honest, this is not the worst song on this list. Nor is it the second worst. BUT you must take into account the influence some songs have over the genre, and T. Pain has introduced hip hop to the vocoder, which mainstream media has dubbed “auto-tune”. Now, that’s incorrect because an auto-tune changes your pitch to match another pitch (tuning it), but the vocoder makes your voice shifty and wavy. It’s the same effect that makes Frampton’s guitar “talk”. That’s right folks. T. Pain has more in common with Framton Comes Alive that you’ll ever know. And know he’s introduced a whole slew of shitty faux-rappers to this technology so they can throw down on slow down R&B tracks to baby mamas and general whores that they encounter. Thanks, T. Pain.

1. Big Pimpin’, Jay-Z
When I heard this song, it hit me. Jay-Z, for all intents and purposes, was dead. The HOVA, the man who wore his cap real low and wouldn’t let you search his trunk, the man who had all that dirt on his shoulder, he was no more. He was churning out shitty summer rap hits. I swear, to this day, I hear this song, and the pseudo-white suburban teenager in me dies a little more.

Top 10 Live Albums

Live music, as I've said before, is the best music. Often, when it's recorded, it's terrible. It's hard to really capture a live event that can be so visual onto an audio medium. Sometimes, it comes out amazing. These following albums are all must haves.

10. Hair: Debatable, Atom and His Package
Top Tracks: Shopping Spree, Punk Rock Academy

9. Our Live Album is Better Than Your Live Album, Reel Big Fish
Top Tracks: S.R. (The Many Versions Of), Kiss Me Deadly

8. Rock Spectacle, Barenaked Ladies
Top Tracks: Brian Wilson, The Old Apartment

7. Viva Wisconsin Violent Femmes
Top Tracks: Add It Up, Kiss Off

6. Frampton Comes Alive, Peter Frampton
Top Tracks: Jumpin Jack Flash, Do You Feel Like We Do

5. Live at San Quentin, Charles Manson
Top Tracks: So The Mood Was Broken, Television Mind

4. The Last Waltz , The Band
Top Tracks: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, I Shall Be Released

3. Live at Leeds , The Who
Top Tracks: My Generation, Tattoo

2. Mtv Presents: Nirvana Unplugged, Nirvana
Top Tracks: All Apologies, Something in the Way

1. Live at Folsom Prison, Johnny Cash
Top Tracks: Folsom Prison Blues, Cocaine Blues

Honorable Mentions: Unplugged, Jay-Z; Bullet in a Bible, Green Day;

Top 10 Rolling Stones Songs

Number 2 in the 1960s-1970s "Big 3"; behind The Beatles, ahead of The Who. Comments encouraged.

10. Losing My Touch
9. Gimme Shelter
8. Under My Thumb
7. Sympathy For the Devil
6. Angie
5. You Can’t Always Get What You Want
4. Mother’s Little Helper
3. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction
2. Jumpin’ Jack Flash
1. Paint It Black