Only rule: no pizza allowed. I consider pizza chains to be their own entity. So, without further ado...
10. McDonald’s
This is only on here because of its breakfast. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit: count it. Sausage Egg McMuffin: Count it. And now they have McCafe, which aside from being a gay name, does have a decent frozen Mocha drink, which I’m a fan of.
9. Subway
I don’t actually like Subway, but this is a total nostalgia thing. I spent a lot of nights very drunk, sobering up on Subway vegetarian subs. They’re always cheap, efficient, and delicious, though. I love their American cheese. Yum yum.
8. Burger King
Lately, Burger King has been selling “burger shots”, which is like little cheeseburgers. Definitely good. Out of the three major burger chains, I think Burger King has the best cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes. They’re other food is highly suspect, however.
7. A&W
I hadn’t had A&W food until I got to college, but I ate there maybe four times a week for pretty much three straight years. I haven’t seen any in New York, but their burgers are better than McDonald’s, Burger King, and Wendy’s, plus they sell delicious hot dogs. Unfortunately, their menu is very limited and their french fries and other items are not so great.
6. Wendy’s
Wendy’s has a fantastic dollar menu, but best of all, has good salads, baked potatoes, and is the only one of the big three to offer a cheap bacon cheeseburger. They also will make you a vegetarian burger (a regular cheeseburger without the meat), and charge you a dollar. Despite eating meat again, I still sometimes order that and then laugh at the ridiculousness.
5. Popeye’s Chicken
If this list were longer, KFC would be number 11. But it’s not. And Popeye’s blows KFC out of the water. In all honestly, I ate KFC today and wished it was Popeye’s. They have a better menu, and you don’t have to order food you don’t want to get food you do want, like at KFC. Also, the mashed potatoes and chicken are just plain better.
4. Taco Bell
Name one college student who doesn’t eat here once every two months or more. Best Taco Bell order, ever: “Give me all the Taco Bell you can, as fast as you can, for 20 dollars.” -- A drunk Matt Kessler.
3. Arby’s
A unique chain who’s food is unrivaled in the community. There really aren’t any here in New York, which is one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with. I love Arby’s roast beef, but not real roast beef sandwiches, which makes me question what Arby’s roast beef is made out of.
2. Jimmy John’s
Quizno’s and Subway would love to lick Jimmy John’s ass. If you live near one, please, for the love of God, go enjoy it. I prefer the Italian sandwich, personally, of course with kettle chips and usually two of their pickles. They pickles are unequaled across the earth.
1. Chipotle
Maybe you don’t consider them a fast food chain, but I don’t care. I take subway rides out of my way to get it. In Kent, I’d eat it four times a week. In New York it’s usually only two. I mean, it’s relatively cheap, definitely fast, and is better than any “real” Mexican restaurant I’ve ever been in. Fight me over it, I dare you.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Top 15 Current Baseball Players: A Dream Team
The rules: One player per field position, five starting pitchers, and one closer. Please submit your own. I got Mighty Mike Burdette's, but I'd love to hear your's. Side note, I think I was okay with only taking a few Mets.
C: Russell Martin (Los Angeles Dodgers)
1B: Albert Pujols (Saint Louis Cardinals)
2B: Dustin Pedroia (Boston Red Sox)
SS: Jose Reyes (New York Mets)
3B: Evan Longoria (Tampa Bay Rays)
LF: Alfonso Soriano (Chicago Cubs)
CF: Grady Sizemore (Cleveland Indians)
RF: Nick Markakis (Baltimore Orioles)
DH: Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)
SP: Johan Santana (New York Mets)
SP: CC Sabathia (New York Yankees)
SP: Roy Halladay (Toronto Blue Jays)
SP: Felix Hernandez (Seattle Mariners)
SP: Jake Peavy (San Diego Padres)
CL: Francisco Rodriguez (New York Mets)
C: Russell Martin (Los Angeles Dodgers)
1B: Albert Pujols (Saint Louis Cardinals)
2B: Dustin Pedroia (Boston Red Sox)
SS: Jose Reyes (New York Mets)
3B: Evan Longoria (Tampa Bay Rays)
LF: Alfonso Soriano (Chicago Cubs)
CF: Grady Sizemore (Cleveland Indians)
RF: Nick Markakis (Baltimore Orioles)
DH: Ryan Howard (Philadelphia Phillies)
SP: Johan Santana (New York Mets)
SP: CC Sabathia (New York Yankees)
SP: Roy Halladay (Toronto Blue Jays)
SP: Felix Hernandez (Seattle Mariners)
SP: Jake Peavy (San Diego Padres)
CL: Francisco Rodriguez (New York Mets)
Top 10 Hip Hop Artists That Are Saving the Genre
This list serves as a foil to the list about hip hop artists who are killing the genre. Please download these artists, but their albums, go to their shows, wear their shirts, etc. Google their names for Myspaces, etc.
10. MC Homeless
He might just be on here because I was good friends with him and played in an amazing grindcore band with him. Or maybe it’s because he can rock spoken word, has a quick delivery, and despite being a lo-fi, friendly, and approachable guy, has some really good beats behind his tracks, and actually writes some pretty good lyrics. He’s out in L.A. now, and I hope he takes the entire city in his fist. They’ll all fall for him when they hear Champagne Wishes, which fantastically samples The Smith’s How Soon is Now?.
9. MC Lars
He calls himself post-punk laptop rap. There’s a lot to admire about MC Lars. He’s a Stanford grad. He still lives with his parents in the Bay Area. He uses a lot of pop-punk in his beats. Each album features a song about a famous literary work (So farThe Raven, Moby Dick, and Hamlet have been done). He also has a great sense for sampling, and can really turn a pop or rock song into a great hip hop beat. He also tours almost exclusively with punk bands, bringing new kids to the genre. He certainly wouldn’t make a “Top 10 Rappers” list, but he’s certainly saving the genre, by giving hip hop new victims.
8. MC Chris
MC Chris is really in the same boat as MC Lars. Though he’s a much better rapper than MC Lars, technically speaking, anyway, he wouldn’t make a Top 10 Rappers list by a long shot. He does, however, have massive exposure to kids who probably don’t listen to hip hop via appearances on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He’s really like the Jesus of Nerd Core rap, which is a section of rap that really has an exclusive set of fans, meaning many Nerd Core fans don’t listen to main stream, and many main stream fans wouldn’t ever listen to Nerd Core.
7. Immortal Technique
He’s too dirty to be mainstream, but good Lord, can Immortal Technique rap, and write. As a man who grew up in Harlem, he has a chip on his shoulder towards the White, Republican majority that has power in the USA. His raps are equal parts “gangsta” profanity and Harvard level political discourse. One song includes both of the lines “Bust off on her face, and right after this segment, she’ll probably rub it in her pussy to try to get herself pregnant” and “Shallow mercenary, I don’t care how I get richer, like American companies that did business with Hitler”. It’s the juxtaposition that makes him so fantastic.
6. Aesop Rock
Aesop Rock has one of the best hip hop albums of all time, regardless of qualifications for the list. Labor Days was so fantastic that I never thought I’d listen to another CD again after I heard it for the first time. Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep up the pace and has released some duds. To be honest, his sports equivalent would be Manny Ramirez. Sure, he’s way past his prime now, but a few years ago he was theonly game in town, and redefined the game. Aesop Rock may have fallen off by now, but Labor Days lives on.
5. Sage Francis
Sage really doesn’t have one really solid album, but has a fantastic album’s worth of songs spread out over a couple of discs. A Healthy Distrust does have maybe 8 really good songs on it, though. The reason he’s this high is because he really is the forefront of both DIY hip hop and political focus. He was also the first rapper signed to Epitaph Records, a legendary punk record label. I’d credit a lot of this merger between scene/punk and hip hop is because a lot of kids saw this guy they’d never heard of on Epitaph, and decided to pick up his album, and proceeded to love it. He also played Warped Tour, a legendary punk tour, furthering his merger with punk rock, despite not really having any punk traces in his music.
4. Atmosphere / Slug
Atmosphere is a group. Slug is Atmosphere’s MC. Ant is the producer. Don’t point at Sean and say “Hey, there’s Atmosphere!”. I’ll hit you. And he’s like 7 feet tall. He’ll hit you, too. But Slug and Ant, known as Atmosphere, really invented “emo rap”, which a lot of people really hate. Unlike Aesop Rock, Atmosphere never really had a grand slam album, but their importance is really related to longevity. Atmosphere has maybe a dozen songs that are totally off the chart amazing, but that’s spread out over dozens of albums. God Loves Ugly is usually cited as their best, and I’d have to agree.
3. Kanye West
Come on, let me hear it. You fucking hate Kanye? Heartless is a terrible song? First off, no, it’s not, you just have a close minded taste in music. Second, Kanye is by far the most important and controversial name in hip hop right now, and rather than churn out generic shit rap hits (I’m looking at you, Lil Wayne), he has continued to try different things, progress, and evolve. I love all of Kanye’s music, and love that he mixes up genres, collaborates, and keeps everything fresh. Add in the influence he’s had over style the past few years, and you can’t argue with his impact at all. Go ahead, tell me that you don’t like his music. I don’t care. You’re just unrefined.
2. Mickey Avalon
It’s tough to talk about Mickey Avalon. He’s probably the new generation of “gangsta” rap. Except, while he’s rapping about fucking your bitch, he’s telling true tales about being a gay prostitute. He’s very, very witty, and has a unique, slowed delivery that really sets him apart from others in the genre. Please download his self-titled album and enjoy it, like I have.
1. Ceschi Ramos
I’ve also played on the same stage as him, but that has nothing to do with it. Ceschi might be the most amazing musician on the planet. I could name ten of his bands, each with a different genre, and each album amazing. His albums are completely cross genre, with some songs touching on jazz, metal, alternative rock, reggae, and even folk (including a song, Optical Illusion, that is completely a folk tune, including mandolin and egg shaker). His album They Hate Francisco False really should be the album of the year for ever year until he releases a new full length. I guarantee you’d love it if you’d listen to it. He packs speed (he can rap faster than you can hear), unbelievable lyrics (better than at least half of the Poet Laureates, no hyperbole, I swear), and musical diversity (pick a genre, he raps / sings / and plays it). Oh, he also has a huge group of incredibly talented friends that like to help out.
10. MC Homeless
He might just be on here because I was good friends with him and played in an amazing grindcore band with him. Or maybe it’s because he can rock spoken word, has a quick delivery, and despite being a lo-fi, friendly, and approachable guy, has some really good beats behind his tracks, and actually writes some pretty good lyrics. He’s out in L.A. now, and I hope he takes the entire city in his fist. They’ll all fall for him when they hear Champagne Wishes, which fantastically samples The Smith’s How Soon is Now?.
9. MC Lars
He calls himself post-punk laptop rap. There’s a lot to admire about MC Lars. He’s a Stanford grad. He still lives with his parents in the Bay Area. He uses a lot of pop-punk in his beats. Each album features a song about a famous literary work (So farThe Raven, Moby Dick, and Hamlet have been done). He also has a great sense for sampling, and can really turn a pop or rock song into a great hip hop beat. He also tours almost exclusively with punk bands, bringing new kids to the genre. He certainly wouldn’t make a “Top 10 Rappers” list, but he’s certainly saving the genre, by giving hip hop new victims.
8. MC Chris
MC Chris is really in the same boat as MC Lars. Though he’s a much better rapper than MC Lars, technically speaking, anyway, he wouldn’t make a Top 10 Rappers list by a long shot. He does, however, have massive exposure to kids who probably don’t listen to hip hop via appearances on Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He’s really like the Jesus of Nerd Core rap, which is a section of rap that really has an exclusive set of fans, meaning many Nerd Core fans don’t listen to main stream, and many main stream fans wouldn’t ever listen to Nerd Core.
7. Immortal Technique
He’s too dirty to be mainstream, but good Lord, can Immortal Technique rap, and write. As a man who grew up in Harlem, he has a chip on his shoulder towards the White, Republican majority that has power in the USA. His raps are equal parts “gangsta” profanity and Harvard level political discourse. One song includes both of the lines “Bust off on her face, and right after this segment, she’ll probably rub it in her pussy to try to get herself pregnant” and “Shallow mercenary, I don’t care how I get richer, like American companies that did business with Hitler”. It’s the juxtaposition that makes him so fantastic.
6. Aesop Rock
Aesop Rock has one of the best hip hop albums of all time, regardless of qualifications for the list. Labor Days was so fantastic that I never thought I’d listen to another CD again after I heard it for the first time. Unfortunately, he couldn’t keep up the pace and has released some duds. To be honest, his sports equivalent would be Manny Ramirez. Sure, he’s way past his prime now, but a few years ago he was theonly game in town, and redefined the game. Aesop Rock may have fallen off by now, but Labor Days lives on.
5. Sage Francis
Sage really doesn’t have one really solid album, but has a fantastic album’s worth of songs spread out over a couple of discs. A Healthy Distrust does have maybe 8 really good songs on it, though. The reason he’s this high is because he really is the forefront of both DIY hip hop and political focus. He was also the first rapper signed to Epitaph Records, a legendary punk record label. I’d credit a lot of this merger between scene/punk and hip hop is because a lot of kids saw this guy they’d never heard of on Epitaph, and decided to pick up his album, and proceeded to love it. He also played Warped Tour, a legendary punk tour, furthering his merger with punk rock, despite not really having any punk traces in his music.
4. Atmosphere / Slug
Atmosphere is a group. Slug is Atmosphere’s MC. Ant is the producer. Don’t point at Sean and say “Hey, there’s Atmosphere!”. I’ll hit you. And he’s like 7 feet tall. He’ll hit you, too. But Slug and Ant, known as Atmosphere, really invented “emo rap”, which a lot of people really hate. Unlike Aesop Rock, Atmosphere never really had a grand slam album, but their importance is really related to longevity. Atmosphere has maybe a dozen songs that are totally off the chart amazing, but that’s spread out over dozens of albums. God Loves Ugly is usually cited as their best, and I’d have to agree.
3. Kanye West
Come on, let me hear it. You fucking hate Kanye? Heartless is a terrible song? First off, no, it’s not, you just have a close minded taste in music. Second, Kanye is by far the most important and controversial name in hip hop right now, and rather than churn out generic shit rap hits (I’m looking at you, Lil Wayne), he has continued to try different things, progress, and evolve. I love all of Kanye’s music, and love that he mixes up genres, collaborates, and keeps everything fresh. Add in the influence he’s had over style the past few years, and you can’t argue with his impact at all. Go ahead, tell me that you don’t like his music. I don’t care. You’re just unrefined.
2. Mickey Avalon
It’s tough to talk about Mickey Avalon. He’s probably the new generation of “gangsta” rap. Except, while he’s rapping about fucking your bitch, he’s telling true tales about being a gay prostitute. He’s very, very witty, and has a unique, slowed delivery that really sets him apart from others in the genre. Please download his self-titled album and enjoy it, like I have.
1. Ceschi Ramos
I’ve also played on the same stage as him, but that has nothing to do with it. Ceschi might be the most amazing musician on the planet. I could name ten of his bands, each with a different genre, and each album amazing. His albums are completely cross genre, with some songs touching on jazz, metal, alternative rock, reggae, and even folk (including a song, Optical Illusion, that is completely a folk tune, including mandolin and egg shaker). His album They Hate Francisco False really should be the album of the year for ever year until he releases a new full length. I guarantee you’d love it if you’d listen to it. He packs speed (he can rap faster than you can hear), unbelievable lyrics (better than at least half of the Poet Laureates, no hyperbole, I swear), and musical diversity (pick a genre, he raps / sings / and plays it). Oh, he also has a huge group of incredibly talented friends that like to help out.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Top 10 Bands That Should Have Quit While Ahead
First, a few notes.
Thanks again for all the positive (and lack of) negative comments on the lists in general. I appreciate the support as I annoy you and waste your time. Now, on to the list.
Thanks to Melissa for this idea, it really hit the spot. As an explanation, this list ranks the bands and musicians that were at one point very, very good, and ended up very, very bad. Had they stopped somewhere along the way, their legacy would be preserved. As a reminder to how this works, number 10 would be the band that fell from grace the least, and number 1 fell the most.
10. The Who
Should Have Stopped After: Quadrophenia (1973)
9. Everyone in Blink-182
Should Have Stopped After: Blink-182 (2003), before any of them released any material as +44 or Angels and Airwaves
8. Radiohead
Should Have Stopped After: Ever deciding to form a band and torture my generation with the abominations they claim to be “innovative music”.
7. Bob Dylan
Should Have Stopped After: Slow Train Coming (1979)
6. Guns N Roses
Should Have Stopped After: Appetite for Destruction (1987)
5. Prince
Should Have Stopped After: Purple Rain (1984)
4. U2
Should Have Stopped After: Auchtung Baby (1991)
3. Gwen Stefani
Should Have Stopped After: Probably Tragic Kingdom (1995), but definitely Rock Steady (2001)
2. Eminem
Should Have Stopped After: The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
1. Michael Jackson
Should Have Stopped After: Thriller (1982)
Thanks again for all the positive (and lack of) negative comments on the lists in general. I appreciate the support as I annoy you and waste your time. Now, on to the list.
Thanks to Melissa for this idea, it really hit the spot. As an explanation, this list ranks the bands and musicians that were at one point very, very good, and ended up very, very bad. Had they stopped somewhere along the way, their legacy would be preserved. As a reminder to how this works, number 10 would be the band that fell from grace the least, and number 1 fell the most.
10. The Who
Should Have Stopped After: Quadrophenia (1973)
9. Everyone in Blink-182
Should Have Stopped After: Blink-182 (2003), before any of them released any material as +44 or Angels and Airwaves
8. Radiohead
Should Have Stopped After: Ever deciding to form a band and torture my generation with the abominations they claim to be “innovative music”.
7. Bob Dylan
Should Have Stopped After: Slow Train Coming (1979)
6. Guns N Roses
Should Have Stopped After: Appetite for Destruction (1987)
5. Prince
Should Have Stopped After: Purple Rain (1984)
4. U2
Should Have Stopped After: Auchtung Baby (1991)
3. Gwen Stefani
Should Have Stopped After: Probably Tragic Kingdom (1995), but definitely Rock Steady (2001)
2. Eminem
Should Have Stopped After: The Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
1. Michael Jackson
Should Have Stopped After: Thriller (1982)
Top 10 Seinfeld Episodes
Seinfeld is the greatest television show of all time. 9 Seasons, 180 Episodes of pure genius. To be honest, the show is so good that a Top 10 list of best episodes in almost arbitrary. In three months, this list may very well be different depending on what seasons I’m watching more then. I feel though, that these are ten episodes I can turn on anytime and laugh my way through. Many of them include memorable lines, or plots so ridiculous and awesome that they are hard to fathom. If you are a Seinfeldfan please leave your Top 10 in the comments.
10. The Rye (S07E10)
9. The Cartoon (S09E12)
8. The Dinner Party (S05E12)
7. The Heart Attack (S02E8)
6. The Bottle Deposit (S07E20+21)
5. The Contest (S04E10)
4. The Switch (S06E10)
3. The Outing (S04E16)
2. The Alternate Side (S03E10)
1. The Strong Box (S09E13)
10. The Rye (S07E10)
9. The Cartoon (S09E12)
8. The Dinner Party (S05E12)
7. The Heart Attack (S02E8)
6. The Bottle Deposit (S07E20+21)
5. The Contest (S04E10)
4. The Switch (S06E10)
3. The Outing (S04E16)
2. The Alternate Side (S03E10)
1. The Strong Box (S09E13)
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Top 10 Bands That Prove God Hates Us and Wants Us to Suffer
10. Pat Boone
He would be higher on the list but he’s really not making music any more. A quick Wikipedia search will tell you that not only does he white wash music that we may consider “racial,” he’s also a devoted Christian fanatical douchebag. His self-proclaimed biggest fan is evangelical TV preacher Jack Hayford. And in 2006 he said that those who opposed the Iraq War couldn’t ever be considered patriotic. So have fun with that. Also, he used to live next to Ozzy Osbourne.
9. Color Me Badd
From Oklahoma, the land that God forgot, comes Color Me Badd. They officially disbanded in 2000, but not before releasing I Wanna Sex You Up which is basically three or so minutes of over produced white-neo-urban-pop-R&B pseudo porn. Just nothing good about any of it. They also were almost single handedly responsible for the boy band boom in the late 90s thanks to their success in the early 90s.
8. Nickelback
Oh lordy, do I hate Nickelback. And basically anyone I’ve ever met also hates them. I’m not sure how they sold a single record, but last count, they’ve sold millions and millions and millions and millions of fucking albums. Seriously. What the fuck. That’s not even a question. It’s a statement.
7. Kenny G
Okay, so he’s basically a parody of a real musician, and has been the butt of every joke since forever. I can’t even add anything. The problem is, he sells records. I hate him. I don’t sell records, but even if I did, I’d hate him. I mean, don’t you?
6. Coldplay
Out of all the bands on this list, Coldplay is probably the most mainstream, relevant, and unfortunately, popular. But let’s be clear. They’ve always been royally terrible. I mean, it’s bald. It’s whitewashed. It’s a weaker, slower version of Radiohead. And Radiohead is so awful I’d rather cut open my genitals than listen to a whole record of theirs. And Coldplay is worse than that.
5. Yanni
This might be a bit of a knock on the man. I mean, he’s put out a lot of albums, and he really stays out of the mainstream, because as far as I can tell, he understands we all hate him. I mean, he’s a Big Ten college grad (U. of Minnesota), and he’s completely self taught. Which is all respectable. However, he looked at John Tesh and decided that he would be an excellent band mate. Also, he regularly pimps for PBS. This list will certainly show him for helping a good cause!
4. Michael Bolton
HOLY LORD, Michael Bolton sucks. After seeing him on some of the VH1 “I Love the...” shows, I realized he has a sense of humor about how he sucks, and writes songs for fat 45 year old women, but that doesn’t excuse him. Not at all.
3. Celine Dion
Now, I hate Canadiens, but she deserves to be on this list for that Titanic song along. Aside from that, she caused that SNL skit where someone parodied Celine Dion and had a talk show, and that reoccurring skit was one of the worst things ever. It’s so bad that in the first draft of this I wrote “shit” instead of “skit” and Spell Check had no problem with it. Even Spell Check knows.
2. Creed
I asked three people who should be on this list, and they all said Creed first. So, Creed’s first. Except I vetoed them. So Creed’s second. Maybe it’s not fair. But you know what? They took grunge, made it even worse, added a Christian edge, and then shit it out across the United States. A very good friend of mine was into Creed in 7th grade. I won’t shout him out, but he knows who he is. They’re just terrible. And then they broke up, and Scott Stapp went solo, and the rest of the band became Alter Bridge, and both were as bad as Creed. It goes to show: shit minus shit still equals shit.
1. Insane Clown Posse
Juggalos. Google them. Look them up. Look up ICP. Or it’s record label. Or their professional wrestling league. Read up on them and come argue with me. That is all.
He would be higher on the list but he’s really not making music any more. A quick Wikipedia search will tell you that not only does he white wash music that we may consider “racial,” he’s also a devoted Christian fanatical douchebag. His self-proclaimed biggest fan is evangelical TV preacher Jack Hayford. And in 2006 he said that those who opposed the Iraq War couldn’t ever be considered patriotic. So have fun with that. Also, he used to live next to Ozzy Osbourne.
9. Color Me Badd
From Oklahoma, the land that God forgot, comes Color Me Badd. They officially disbanded in 2000, but not before releasing I Wanna Sex You Up which is basically three or so minutes of over produced white-neo-urban-pop-R&B pseudo porn. Just nothing good about any of it. They also were almost single handedly responsible for the boy band boom in the late 90s thanks to their success in the early 90s.
8. Nickelback
Oh lordy, do I hate Nickelback. And basically anyone I’ve ever met also hates them. I’m not sure how they sold a single record, but last count, they’ve sold millions and millions and millions and millions of fucking albums. Seriously. What the fuck. That’s not even a question. It’s a statement.
7. Kenny G
Okay, so he’s basically a parody of a real musician, and has been the butt of every joke since forever. I can’t even add anything. The problem is, he sells records. I hate him. I don’t sell records, but even if I did, I’d hate him. I mean, don’t you?
6. Coldplay
Out of all the bands on this list, Coldplay is probably the most mainstream, relevant, and unfortunately, popular. But let’s be clear. They’ve always been royally terrible. I mean, it’s bald. It’s whitewashed. It’s a weaker, slower version of Radiohead. And Radiohead is so awful I’d rather cut open my genitals than listen to a whole record of theirs. And Coldplay is worse than that.
5. Yanni
This might be a bit of a knock on the man. I mean, he’s put out a lot of albums, and he really stays out of the mainstream, because as far as I can tell, he understands we all hate him. I mean, he’s a Big Ten college grad (U. of Minnesota), and he’s completely self taught. Which is all respectable. However, he looked at John Tesh and decided that he would be an excellent band mate. Also, he regularly pimps for PBS. This list will certainly show him for helping a good cause!
4. Michael Bolton
HOLY LORD, Michael Bolton sucks. After seeing him on some of the VH1 “I Love the...” shows, I realized he has a sense of humor about how he sucks, and writes songs for fat 45 year old women, but that doesn’t excuse him. Not at all.
3. Celine Dion
Now, I hate Canadiens, but she deserves to be on this list for that Titanic song along. Aside from that, she caused that SNL skit where someone parodied Celine Dion and had a talk show, and that reoccurring skit was one of the worst things ever. It’s so bad that in the first draft of this I wrote “shit” instead of “skit” and Spell Check had no problem with it. Even Spell Check knows.
2. Creed
I asked three people who should be on this list, and they all said Creed first. So, Creed’s first. Except I vetoed them. So Creed’s second. Maybe it’s not fair. But you know what? They took grunge, made it even worse, added a Christian edge, and then shit it out across the United States. A very good friend of mine was into Creed in 7th grade. I won’t shout him out, but he knows who he is. They’re just terrible. And then they broke up, and Scott Stapp went solo, and the rest of the band became Alter Bridge, and both were as bad as Creed. It goes to show: shit minus shit still equals shit.
1. Insane Clown Posse
Juggalos. Google them. Look them up. Look up ICP. Or it’s record label. Or their professional wrestling league. Read up on them and come argue with me. That is all.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Top 10 Music Videos of All Time
Yes. Mtv. Music Television. Yes, throw in cliche jokes about how Mtv doesn't play videos anymore. I don't care. Music videos used to really be relevant. I remember when I was younger and my first exposure to songs was generally through music videos, because at that point I wasn't really listening to the radio. Anyway, below are my top ten choices for best music videos of all time, and for the first time ever, an honorable mentions section.
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10. Here I Go Again, Whitesnake
9. Smack My Bitch Up, Prodigy
8. Freak on a Leash, KoRn
7. Sabotage, Beastie Boys
6. Don’t Come Around Here No More, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. Here It Goes Again, OK Go
4. Sledehammer, Peter Gabriel
3. Buddy Holly, Weezer
2. Weapon of Choice, Fatboy Slim
1. Thriller, Michael Jackson
Honorable Mentions: Take on Me, A-Ha; Hurt, Johnny Cash
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